Some days, the best you can do is a heap of clichés:
• I got nothin’.
• Do you really want to know?
• Blame Adam.
See what I mean? There are other jokes, of course, but this is a family blog.
Oh, wait. Not really. I mean, I wouldn’t preclude it outright, but neither is it difficult to imagine the complaints.
“That the words uttered by the brave Tazendra are not as grandiose and full of pomp as Kieron the Conqueror’s, ‘The sea has brought our salvation’, or Undauntra the First’s, ‘Let him who doubts the victory wrest the banner from my hand’, or Sethra Lavode’s, ‘I speak for the Mountain and the Mountain speaks for the Orb’, or Lord Kuinu’s, ‘By all the Lords of Judgment, it is proved at last’, or expressive of the elegant understatement of Tigarre’s famous, ‘Turn around, my lord; I am behind you’, or Deo’s, ‘Welcome, my lady, to my home’; still, they are what was said, and so our duty as historian places before us the necessity of laying them before the reader.”
―Paarfi of Roundwood
See what I did there?
Never mind. Paarfi does.
Adam doesn’t, but that’s not important. In fact, Adam is only important on this occasion because it’s his fault I thought of Tigarre at all; and maybe I should be at least somewhat distressed about the proposition that I have yet to figure if Tigarre is the historical figure or historian.
And, yes, I would feel really stupid if someone has done that bit before, but I would still blame Adam because it was either the Tigarre joke or Facebooking my sister-in-law.
Oh, and we can safely ignore Steven; he’s just a set piece and occasional washing-machine leveler.
You know. Ironic counterpoint. Subtext. Dark side of the moon flashing like a drive indicator.
A tangent to the contextual orbit ’round my head.
____________________
Image note: Tigarre the Turtle? ― Detail of Bug Martini by Adam Huber, 30 November 2015.
Brust, Steven. “Official Biography”. The Dream Café. 5 November 2015.
Paarfi of Roundwood. “The Lord of Castle Black: Describing Certain Events Which Occurred Between the 247th Year of the Interregnum and the 1st Year of the Reign of Empress Zerika the Fourth”. The Viscount of Adrilankha, vol. 2. Adrilankha: Glorious Mountain, 179 NOR2.
This Is 