The Pumpkin Post (Vanilla Mix)

A coffee cup at Terra Vista. Detail of photo by B. D. Hilling, 2013.

First, you really don’t want to know.

Yeah, pumpkin spice is not the worst flavor but I hate being reminded of dogfucking and basic bitchery every time I buy a vanilla latte, or just anything in general.

(SlayerSlayer [qtd. in Futrelle])

Then again, if I could properly explain why this is funny, well, perhaps it isn’t a wasted effort. Okay, nevermind, but still.

The question arose whether I liked pumpkin-flavored coffee. I cannot imagine why I would, and said so. But it was a free pound of pumpkin-flavored coffee, so . . . . right, apparently this is must-have: Maybe [___] would like it. Okay, why? Because he likes flavored coffees. Like a vanilla latte.

No, really, that’s it. I skipped Futrelle’s pumpkin spice post when it first crossed my twitfeed because, really, “Is the Pumpkin Spice latte a sign of female privilege?” Of course, “Incels say yes”, but why, and let me clarify, here, that no, you really don’t want to know.

No, really, it’s like, then I had a conversation about pumpkin-flavored coffee, and then I decided to check in on what I missed last week, and I just had to go look up which one of those witless prigs actually made the point that he makes his own coffee—or gets it from the gas station—in order to avoid the rage white women inspire in him; no, it wasn’t worth it.

That’s some pretty stellar shite.


Image note: A coffee cup at Terra Vista, ca. 2013. (Photo: bd)

Futrelle, David. “Is the Pumpkin Spice latte a sign of female privilege? Incels say yes”. We Hunted the Mammoth. 5 October 2020.

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