Setup or punch lines? That is to say, normally the setup comes first, but it also … er … ah … right.
Is there any dignified way to do this? Or, perhaps, that isn’t our question to ask; it would have served others rather well.
So: A sheriff’s office receives a call reporting a possible prowler.
There you go. That’s the setup. Repeated reviews of the short article from WTOC television (via Tuscon News Now) have not identified a single sentence that is not … funny? … astoundingly creepy? … morbidly ironic? … very, very sad? Okay, that’s not fair; there is one sentence.
Punch line number one:
While deputies checked the area they located a male and a female walking in the area. When deputies investigated further, deputies determined the couple were brother and sister and were having sex in a Kenworth Enterprise Tractor Trailer.
Punch line number two:
“Christopher Buckner, 20, or Guyton and her brother, Timothy Savoy, 25, of Jackson, GA, were inside of the tractor trailer at the County Side Baptist Church on Highway 30 having sex prior to being stopped by deputies,” Sheriff’s Spokesman David Ehsanipoor said.
Punch line number three:
Effingham County Sheriff’s deputies responded to the area of Hester Road and Highway 30 because of a report of a prowler shortly after 4 a.m.
Yes, let us stitch that all together: In Effingham County, Georgia, a brother and sister have been charged with prowling, sodomy, and incest after allegedly getting it on in a tractor trailer at a Baptist church.
No, really. What do you do with that one?
Normally I would say they’ll hear about this one at the pub when all is said and done, except it is uncertain whether or not the razzing will be moralistically driven, or fueled by envy.
Effing Effingham County. Georgia. Really? They couldn’t have found, say, a gas station restroom (not the Baptist church) in, say, any northern state (not the South), in any other county (not called Effingham)?
The thing is that at a genuine human level, this is supposed to be something between concerning and tragic. But in terms of what comes across the newswire? Someone, please tell me the wire has been pranked. Please? Because I’m pretty sure, “God help us!” is simply inappropriate on this occasion.