Nothing More Than We’ve Come to Expect from Bobby and the Hardline

There comes a point when being a scientist might have certain advantages; if you need some time away from people, just go. When they ask where you’ve been, just say you were running an experiment. When they ask what it was, just shake your head like you’re annoyed and mutter that it didn’t work out. There are all sorts of ways to justify this as not being a lie, but we’ll skip the joke about the effects of repeated physical exertion during cinematic experience. Besides, Reubens established a result of some sort, decades ago, and it would be counterproductive to get arrested testing the reliability of that one.

Excuses aside, it is also true that the month before and after Christmas can be especially trying, and while most suggest a thing or two about sunlight in this region, it is unclear whether the application of the Seasonal Affective proposition is appropriately oriented.

Still, though, speaking of professional wankers:

You know what Bobby Jindal said about Muslim “no-go zones” in Europe, a statement that resulted in Jindal being criticized and mocked by mainstream commentators? It turns out many social conservatives in Iowa really liked it. To them, Jindal was warning about the danger of enclaves of unassimilated Muslim populations in an age of Islamic radicalism, a problem they fear could be in store for the United States. Jindal, who is himself the model of an assimilated American from an immigrant family, not only did not suffer from his remarks but instead benefited from them.

(York)

A Little Heavy Humor

Pretty straightforward. But perhaps we should try pornography, instead. Oh, wait. Raincoats. After all, what’s a little disease compared to wearing a condom?

Never mind. Condoms only make pornography even worse.

That is to say, while it is easy enough to stand for the idea of pornography against the various complaints of obscenity and misogyny, given the potential for the (ahem!) “art form” to show us the naughty bits without all the vileness, well, there is a difference between theory and practice.

So then, rather than offering a critique of the difference between stylized gangrape pornography and some random couple that wants to spice up their sex life by releasing video of his sac and pucker bouncing up and down on the screen while he drills her, maybe it would be best to simply skip it all and go back to fretting about ebola. Or climate change. Or … or … well, right.

Or maybe we could just mix it all up—disease, the effects of climate change, and pornography—smoke a bowl, and listen to some Bad Company, instead.