SMBC

A Fair Point

→"I didn't 'evolve' from no monkey! I descend from two people cursed for disobeying God, and the incestuous unions of their children!" | (I never understood the 'argument from dignity'.)← ('Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal' by Zach Weiner, 21 May 2015.)Two notes:

(1) He’s got a point.

(2) Argument from Dignity? Is that what it’s called? Really?

Something about Scott Walker goes here, but something else tells me that’s not quite right.

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Weiner, Zach. “Descent”. Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal. 21 May 2015.

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Extraneous

Detail of 'Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal' by Zach Weiner, 16 April 2015.

This is the question: Inevitability, or innovation?

That is to say, the whole anime/card-game declaration of a super power really does seem an amusingly inevitable innovation of an inevitable and probably overused joke.

Or perhaps it is not a question of innovation per se, but simple jealousy, rationalized and potentially with formed reaction, because I didn’t think of it first.

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Weiner Zach. Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal. 16 April 2015.

A Different Kind of Ouch

Detail of 'Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal' by Zach Weiner, 10 April 2015.Once again, the question arises whether or not you really want to know.

Or would it be enough to simply say … actually, you know what? I’ve got nothin’.

But if you need more (ahem!) detail, I suppose it wouldn’t hurt to try to wrap your head around the idea of a local maxima in the context of this particular joke.

On second thought ....

You know, just blame Zach Weiner.

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Weiner, Zach. “Lagrange Wax”. Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal. 10 March 2015.

Wikipedia. “Lagrange multiplier”. 27 March 2015.

Irrationality

Detail of 'Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal' by Zach Weiner, 28 March 2015.Science and love can be a dangerous mixture. That is to say, to the one we find great value in science, especially in this day when societal footing is delicate owing to the myriad potsherds cast about by pseudoscientists, anti-scientists, and their political organization―the GOP.

To the other, though, we’ve all known someone with an advanced degree who happens to be inept in human relations or some other everyday aspect of living in civilized society.

In this case, a chemist didn’t think it through. Because, you know, human beings are irrational, and science isn’t.

Just sayin’.

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Weiner, Zach. “Carbon Bonding”. Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal. 28 March 2015.

Theological Comedy

Detail of 'Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal' by Zach Weiner, 22 March 2015.Follow the bouncing ball. Damn. Where’d I put the ball?

Anyway, it’s pretty simple for being so complicated: The ultimate reality is called Mysterium for a reason. With me, so far? The word is “ineffable”, which means it cannot be properly expressed, which is also ironic given the number of people you might meet who have no idea what the word means. Well, okay. Almost ironic. Metaironic. Nevermindronic?

So here’s the deal: If it cannot be expressed, any expression thereof will necessarily be inadequate.

Easy enough?

Good.

A practical example: You have finite brain capacity and function. The whole of the Universe cannot fit inside your brain; you can neither witness nor calculate its entirety in any one moment.

Now stop to consider we might search out, should we be so inclined, centuries-old debates about the nature of a monotheistic godhead and whether “infinite” is inclusive enough to contain the whole of God. Think St. Augustine on crack.

An anecdotal example: An explanation of Heaven given me at a Jesuit high school had to do with our individual selves gathered ’round God’s throne in Heaven, singing hosannas throughout eternity. No, really, can you think of anything more boring?

Still, though, Zach Weiner offers a pretty good take on what would be heavenly.

The lesson, however, is this: In the end, by the totality of the godhead―to infinity, and beyond!―there is no experiential difference ‘twixt being one with God and simply being dead.

If you run it to earth, that’s what you find.

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Weiner, Zach. Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal. 22 March 2015.

Not Quite the Paradox of Watching Smart People Being Stupid

Detail of 'Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal' by Zach Weiner, 2 March 2015.Maybe fifteen years ago, geek friends were all chattering excitedly about an idea, kind of a memory and gene and idea and all that, and therein we find the idea of a meme, and, yes, I know what you’re thinking, or at least that it has to do with cheeseburgers or puddin’ pops.

The thing is that a bunch of really smart tech people suddenly started playing around with ideas having to do with psychology, but as with many people who have no foundation in the disciplines they dabble, tried to start from the ground up. They thought they were breaking ground, defining new insight to the human mind. What they ended up with was a bunch of badly-spelled jokes printed in white block-capitals on stupid pictures.

Shit happens.

The present reminder of what happens when smart people dabble outside their expertise comes courtesy of the inimitable Zach Weiner.

Learn the lesson. The one salvation with the meme disaster is that so many people were in on it, we probably can’t figure out which one person to blame. Okay, there’s the other salvation, which is watching celebrities meme themselves to infamy.

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Weiner, Zach. Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal. 2 March 2015.

The Hand That Gives

Detail of 'Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal', by Zach Weiner, 19 February 2015.

Oh, come now.

And then come again.

Or is that joke getting kind of crusty?

Move along. Nothing to see here.

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Bonus Note! Don’t forget to check out SMBC’s special to The Nib today, and file under, “Why didn’t I think of that?”

Weiner, Zach. Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal. 19 February 2015.

The Devil’s Desperate Appeal

Detail of 'Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal', by Zach Weiner, 13 February 2015.

You know, we could almost consider this one a Valentine’s Day joke, too, but you’d have to click the link to figure out why.

And, hey, would that be a trick up the sleeve or an ace in the hole?

(Detail of Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal, by Zach Weiner, 13 February 2015.)

A Confession Unto the World Weiner

Detail of 'Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal' by Zach Weiner, 11 February 2015.

With apologies to the Weiner Almighty; forgive me, Weiner, for I have sinned, and yes, I owe you another apology for trying to cram “weiner” into the sentence twice thrice.

Still, though, it is unkind to give away the punch line. Then again … something about cosmic justice goes here. That is to say, if only ....

I mean, it was always a doctor, or a lawyer, or in the eighties an MBA or other special someone in finance, and even if one hasn’t a care in the world about who their daughters marry, look at what the rest of us have gotten from that stupid, greedy ownership culture.

No daughter of yours is going to marry a Negro? No son of yours is gonna be a queer? Tell us this: Now that your kids have fucked the whole of American society, are you proud of the social disease you passed along?

So while you fret about whether or not you own your kids’ sex lives or whatever, the rest of us will be over in the corner talking about something important. You know, like giving away the punch line.

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Weiner, Zach. Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal. 11 February 2015.

The Trouble With Marketplace Solutions (Weiner Style)

Detail of 'Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal' by Zach Weiner, 8 February 2015.

In the meantime, while we flail about looking for something useful to post that actually warrants attention, we might as well spend the moment whispering arcane suggestions about marketplace solutions, or more simply, point you to Zach Weiner’s latest assembly of potted humor parts and remind that sometimes the long setup is worth it. That, at least, is worth some attention.

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Weiner, Zach. Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal. 8 February 2015.