The Girl with the Clown’s Face

Something about implications goes here.

When I was young, a distant relative explained why her three year-old daughter didn’t like Sesame Street―clowns frightened the child. It was the first time I’d ever heard of such a thing, but in later years a joke would emerge; it turns out the young lady was hardly alone in her fear of clowns.

This is not quite the same thing.

Still, though, Zach Weiner’s latest is actually kind of frightening.

Well, you know. If you stop and think about it.

How ’bout this? Don’t think about it.

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Weiner, Zach. “Pix”. Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal. 13 July 2015.

A Fair Point

Two notes:

(1) He’s got a point.

(2) Argument from Dignity? Is that what it’s called? Really?

Something about Scott Walker goes here, but something else tells me that’s not quite right.

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Weiner, Zach. “Descent”. Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal. 21 May 2015.

Extraneous

This is the question: Inevitability, or innovation?

That is to say, the whole anime/card-game declaration of a super power really does seem an amusingly inevitable innovation of an inevitable and probably overused joke.

Or perhaps it is not a question of innovation per se, but simple jealousy, rationalized and potentially with formed reaction, because I didn’t think of it first.

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Weiner Zach. Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal. 16 April 2015.

A Different Kind of Ouch

Once again, the question arises whether or not you really want to know.

Or would it be enough to simply say … actually, you know what? I’ve got nothin’.

But if you need more (ahem!) detail, I suppose it wouldn’t hurt to try to wrap your head around the idea of a local maxima in the context of this particular joke.

On second thought ....

You know, just blame Zach Weiner.

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Weiner, Zach. “Lagrange Wax”. Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal. 10 March 2015.

Wikipedia. “Lagrange multiplier”. 27 March 2015.

Irrationality

Science and love can be a dangerous mixture. That is to say, to the one we find great value in science, especially in this day when societal footing is delicate owing to the myriad potsherds cast about by pseudoscientists, anti-scientists, and their political organization―the GOP.

To the other, though, we’ve all known someone with an advanced degree who happens to be inept in human relations or some other everyday aspect of living in civilized society.

In this case, a chemist didn’t think it through. Because, you know, human beings are irrational, and science isn’t.

Just sayin’.

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Weiner, Zach. “Carbon Bonding”. Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal. 28 March 2015.

Theological Comedy

Follow the bouncing ball. Damn. Where’d I put the ball?

Anyway, it’s pretty simple for being so complicated: The ultimate reality is called Mysterium for a reason. With me, so far? The word is “ineffable”, which means it cannot be properly expressed, which is also ironic given the number of people you might meet who have no idea what the word means. Well, okay. Almost ironic. Metaironic. Nevermindronic?

So here’s the deal: If it cannot be expressed, any expression thereof will necessarily be inadequate.

Easy enough?

Good.

A practical example: You have finite brain capacity and function. The whole of the Universe cannot fit inside your brain; you can neither witness nor calculate its entirety in any one moment.

Now stop to consider we might search out, should we be so inclined, centuries-old debates about the nature of a monotheistic godhead and whether “infinite” is inclusive enough to contain the whole of God. Think St. Augustine on crack.

An anecdotal example: An explanation of Heaven given me at a Jesuit high school had to do with our individual selves gathered ’round God’s throne in Heaven, singing hosannas throughout eternity. No, really, can you think of anything more boring?

Still, though, Zach Weiner offers a pretty good take on what would be heavenly.

The lesson, however, is this: In the end, by the totality of the godhead―to infinity, and beyond!―there is no experiential difference ‘twixt being one with God and simply being dead.

If you run it to earth, that’s what you find.

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Weiner, Zach. Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal. 22 March 2015.

Not Quite the Paradox of Watching Smart People Being Stupid

Maybe fifteen years ago, geek friends were all chattering excitedly about an idea, kind of a memory and gene and idea and all that, and therein we find the idea of a meme, and, yes, I know what you’re thinking, or at least that it has to do with cheeseburgers or puddin’ pops.

The thing is that a bunch of really smart tech people suddenly started playing around with ideas having to do with psychology, but as with many people who have no foundation in the disciplines they dabble, tried to start from the ground up. They thought they were breaking ground, defining new insight to the human mind. What they ended up with was a bunch of badly-spelled jokes printed in white block-capitals on stupid pictures.

Shit happens.

The present reminder of what happens when smart people dabble outside their expertise comes courtesy of the inimitable Zach Weiner.

Learn the lesson. The one salvation with the meme disaster is that so many people were in on it, we probably can’t figure out which one person to blame. Okay, there’s the other salvation, which is watching celebrities meme themselves to infamy.

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Weiner, Zach. Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal. 2 March 2015.

A Spectral Shape Between Them

Right.

There are moments between people, and then there are moments between people.

And yet there are still other moments between people we would rather never imagine, except that we will imagine it, just not about anyone we know.

Why am I hearing a Robyn Hitchcock song in my head?

And why can’t it be a different song?

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Weiner, Zach. Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal. 22 February 2015.

The Hand That Gives

Oh, come now.

And then come again.

Or is that joke getting kind of crusty?

Move along. Nothing to see here.

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Bonus Note! Don’t forget to check out SMBC’s special to The Nib today, and file under, “Why didn’t I think of that?”

Weiner, Zach. Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal. 19 February 2015.

The Devil’s Desperate Appeal

You know, we could almost consider this one a Valentine’s Day joke, too, but you’d have to click the link to figure out why.

And, hey, would that be a trick up the sleeve or an ace in the hole?

(Detail of Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal, by Zach Weiner, 13 February 2015.)