I am here to announce what I’m sure will be the most talked-about executive action this month. Today, I’m taking an action fully within my legal authority—the same kind of action taken by Democrats and Republican presidents before me—to spare the lives of two turkeys, Mac and Cheese, from a terrible and delicious fate ....
.... I know some will call this amnesty—but don’t worry, there’s plenty of turkey to go around.
―President Barack Obama
They call him … Cheese.
Wait, no, really?
And, yes, the other one really is named Mac. Given that they are being pardoned for the crime of being turkeys, perhaps they should have been named Ted and Mitch.
Meanwhile, Max Read of Gawker notes the sideshow that is White House parenthood:
Not even the pomp and ritual of the White House can overcome the most powerful force known to man: TEEN CONTEMPT.
Today President Obama undertook the White House’s stupid traditional Thanksgiving ceremony of “pardoning” a turkey. His daughters Malia and Sasha, 16 and 13, accompanied him. Their barely contained disdain for the production was utterly appropriate and utterly magnificent ....
Er … um … ah … right. Hey, it’s Gawker. What, really, do we expect?
Obama, Barack. “Remarks by the President at Pardoning of the National Turkey”. The White House. 26 November 2014.
Read, Max. “Malia and Sasha Obama Are Over the Stupid White House Turkey Pardon”. Gawker. 26 November 2014.