Something About Happiness Having Nothing to Do with a Warm Gun

A brief note on narrative, and how details can change the context.

Alexis Krell of The News Tribune posted this lede today:

A man was shot Tuesday in Federal Way while trying sell a phone, police said.

On the surface, it sounds like a routine, run-of-the-mill, idiots-all-around neighborhood crime. According to police spokesperson Cathy Schrock, the buyers stole the phone, the seller chased them down, and in the resulting struggle someone shot the seller.

And some might pause here to wonder why one would chase multiple criminals; it didn’t work for a boxing champ, and Federal Way is a town with few boxing champs.

Maybe if one was, say, a Triwizard Champion, or some such.

It turns out there is a reason, though, one might wonder why one would chase multiple criminals, getting shot in the process, for a phone. After all, few secondhand phones transfered in street deals are worth much money.

But guns are; hence the update as more accurate facts came in:

Police said it appears the man was selling a gun, not a phone, and that he was shot with the gun he was selling, Schrock said. The victim is about 21 years old.

The victimized gun trader will live. At least there is that.

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Krell, Alexis. “Police: Man shot with gun while trying to sell it in Federal Way”. The News Tribune. 18 November 2014.

The Quidditch Revolution?

It’s one of those things I knew about, sort of. At least, you know, that it was happening. I didn’t really pay attention because, well, right.

Sean Pagoda, however, has given me reason to reconsider.

What sets quidditch apart from other sports is its two-minimum gender rule, established by the International Quidditch Association. The rule states that “each team must have at least two players in play who identify with a different gender than at least two other players. The gender that a player identifies with is considered to be that player’s gender.”

Look, to the one, it’s great to consider that an international athletic association is LGBTQ-aware.

To the other, though? Well, right. There’s an International Quiddich Association.

Yes, I was aware that there were adults running around on broomsticks, playing “Harry Potter”. And, yes, I really, really tried to not care. You know, whatever. But when quidditch is raised as a sociopolitical example, well, yes, at some point the inevitable question arises: “Wh-wha-what? Seriously? Quidditch?”

Sigh.

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Pagoda, Sean. “Brooms Up”. The Huffington Post. 7 July 2014.

The Reuters “Advertising” Division

“If somebody wants to come into Kentucky and build a Harry Potter park and teach all the fun things about witchcraft, nobody would say a word about it—they’d just think it was so cool. But if we want to come in and build a Biblical theme park, everybody goes crazy.”

—Michael Zovath

Everyone, it seems, has their complaints about news media, but Mary Wisniewski’s promotional piece for a creationist theme park—lovingly edited for Reuters by Arlene Getz and Prudence Crowther—does not make any effort to hide its purpose.

In an office park in Hebron, Kentucky, the designers of the proposed “Ark Encounter” theme park are trying to answer questions like these in order to build faith in the Bible’s literal accuracy. The project has run into delays because of lack of financing, which could cost it millions in potential tax breaks. Despite the uncertainty, a recent Reuters preview of the project showed that plans for the ark are continuing.

“We’re basically presenting what the Bible has to say and showing how plausible it was,” said Patrick Marsh, design director for the park, which will feature a 500-foot-long wooden ark and other Old Testament attractions, including a Tower of Babel and a “Ten Plagues” ride. “This was a real piece of history – not just a story, not just a legend.”

The project is currently in the design phase. Not enough private donations have come in to start construction, and building permits will not be ready until November, according to Ark Encounter co-founder and Senior Vice President Michael Zovath.

The project has $12.3 million in hand and $12.7 million more in committed donations; it needs $23 million more to start building the ark alone. Zovath does not know when that will happen.

Like Noah before the Flood, the builders are in a bit of a time crunch, since Kentucky tourism tax incentives for the project are set to expire in May 2014.

The longer it takes to start building the $150 million park, originally planned to open in spring 2014, the less the project stands to gain from the rebates, which allow it to receive up to 25 percent of project costs over 10 years from sales taxes generated by the business.

Zovath said the project may refile for the incentives, which critics argue are a violation of the constitutional divide between church and state. If the rebates applied to the full project cost, they could amount to $37.5 million.

This seems to be the thrust of Wisniewski’s appeal, which is in turn bracketed by quaint inquiries and appeals intended to charm:

What is “gopher wood”? How did Noah fit all those animals on the boat? And how did he stand the smell? ….

…. Zovath argues that the tax breaks do not violate the Constitution, since the state is not giving the park money up-front, but is only returning some of the tourism money the park will bring to the state.

“If somebody wants to come into Kentucky and build a Harry Potter park and teach all the fun things about witchcraft, nobody would say a word about it – they’d just think it was so cool,” Zovath said. “But if we want to come in … and build a Biblical theme park, everybody goes crazy.”