fatherhood

Nutty Buggery. Buggy Nuttery. Whatever.

[#bugnuts]

'They Really Dropped the Balls' - Detail of Bug Martini, by Adam Huber, 29 April 2018.Should occasion arise to suggest Eight Dollar Testicle is not #MyNextBandName, well, of course we can blame Adam. Kind of like Venkman and Jell-O, that way; there is always room to blame Adam. The eternal question, of course, is do bugs have nuts.

No, it isn’t.

Rule of thumb: When blaming Adam, the eternal question is whether you really, really want to know.

Of course you do.

And, Bugnuts. Now there’s a band name.

____________________

Image note: Detail of Bug Martini, by Adam Huber, 29 April 2018.

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An Obvious Question (Illinois Ignominy)

D City Rock: Detail of frame from "Panty and Stocking With Garterbelt", 'Help! We Are Angels', by TeddyLoin featuring Debra Zeer.

This is … what, traditional family values?

According to a proposed bill filed last week by two Republican Illinois state lawmakers, if a father is not listed on a newborn’s birth certificate, the birth certificate will not be issued and any future financial assistance will be denied.

The proposed bill HB6064 by Representative John Cavaletto and Representative Keith Wheeler would amend the Illinois Vital Records Act to require that unwed mothers either name a father on the birth certificate or within 30 days go to court and have another family member sign the birth certificate and agree to accept financial responsibility for the child ....

.... If a single mother fails to name the father or identify another guardian, the child will not be issued a birth certificate and the family will be permanently banned from public assistance. The bill makes no exception for rape or incest victims. Under current law, an unmarried father is not named on the birth certificate unless he signs a voluntary acknowledgment of paternity.

(Tesfaye)

You know, something useful is supposed to go here, but in truth I am uncertain what that is. More specifically, I’m still stuck on the obvious question.

What the hell is wrong with these people?

____________________

Tesfaye, Sophia. “Illinois Republicans target single mothers and their babies: GOP bill would ban birth certificates, financial aid if father is not named”. Salon. 25 February 2016.

Another Memo to the Huffington Post

A doll's work never ends. July (c.), with Kiko Kyanauma (r.) and friend, in Darker Than Black: Gemini of the Meteor episode 9, 'They Met One Day, unexpectedly ...'.

MEMORANDUM

To: Huffington Post, Michelle Persad (Fashion Editor)

re: Please stop objectifying women

This is not an occasion on which I get to say, “You might have noticed”, because, in all sincerity, why would you?

Still, it is to some degree worth mentioning that a particular frustration with the Huffington Post compels me to give your organization some shit, because, quite frankly, I just don’t get HuffPo’s obsession with bulwarking misogyny.

The Duchess Effect is real. And this year, it was stronger than ever―probably because the Duchess of Cambridge’s style keeps getting better.

Between her red carpet gowns, dashing coats and whimsical hats, we were gushing over her sartorial choices for basically 12 months straight.

(Persad)

(more…)

The Huffington Disgrace

"Serena Williams' Sheer Dress Is A Grand Slam". Headline for Huffington Post article by Jamie Feldman, 16 December 2015.

MEMORANDUM

To: Jamie Feldman, Huffington Post

re: ¿Thank you for your contribution?

It is hard to know where to begin, so let me please start with a question: Are you joking?

No, really, are you pitching for a Christmas card from MRAs?

All hail Serena Williams, Sports Illustrated’s first female “Sportsperson of the Year” since 1983 and the sexiest woman alive―if her latest red carpet look is any indication, that is.

(Feldman)

No, really. Please tell me this is a joke.

Why are you taking part in gendertyping? Why are you reinforcing stereotypes about women’s apperances?

(more…)

The Ben Carson Show (And Your Mother, Too!)

“They tell you that there’s a war on women. There is no war on women. There may be a war on what’s inside of women, but there is no war on women in this country.” ―Dr. Ben Carson

So, you know, we finally got around to making up a quote image for Dr. Ben Carson’s wonderful war inside women gaffe.

Because, like, you know. You care. Or something.

And, you know, because if people are going to read, they tend to need pictures, too, these days. I mean, seriously, if you’re going to socmed another freaking cat video, why not this?

Because, you know, sure, why not? I mean, look, I’m not going to knock sports fans. But in truth, if most of the sports fans I know paid half as much attention to, you know … er, look, okay? I know. I come from a football family. And I get it. Sports really do affect our lives.

But compared to elections? Yeah, I know, maybe the trade seems inexplicable, giving up prospects when there’s no way it’s going to pay off five years down the road, but I am a father, goddamn it! Yeah, I like championship trophies and hoisting pints to victory as much as the next, but you know what I like even more? A world in which creepy old men aren’t declaring war on my daughter’s insides.

And by the juxtaposition, it is worth pointing out that those of us who have better awareness of the political farm leagues than, say, the baseball version from which we take the term, are slightly awestruck today as more evidence emerges that the Republican establishment is afraid of what might be about to happen. But that also throws the political calculus of what happens when and if Donald Trump actually does crash and burn the way the conventional wisdom once believed he must; Dr. Carson would, given the apparent mood among Republican voters at this moment, be a more likely nominee than, say, Jeb Bush.

And in the time you wasted reading my halfwitted justification for wasting it, you could have grabbed that image and sent it to a friend who probably needs it either for their own benefit, or as something to send to someone they know.

I mean, really. I have a daughter. And, you know, a mother. And lots and lots of friends and neighbors who just happen to be female. And not a one of them needs Ben Carson’s goddamn war inside their bodies.

And, you know, “Some of my friends are women!” hardly makes me special. Indeed, for the most part it makes me just like you.

Admit it. You know someone who needs to be paying attention right about now.

____________________

Image note: Source photo by Bill Clark/CQ Roll Call, 2015.

Johnson, Eliana. “The Establishment Thinks the Unthinkable: Trump Could Win the Nomination”. National Review. 19 October 2015.

A Note to the GdC

Detail of cover art for 'Introducing Happiness' by Rheostatics (Sire Records, 1994).

It is my deepest honor, my lady. My greatest privilege. My ineffable pleasure. Thank you.

You are a treasure, you’ll never be found; gathering coral in a galleon. Seeding anemones, feeding the reef in some lagoon in Barbados. And I must retrieve you, for I will get paid and build a big house in Vancouver town. Living in castles a bit at a time. Walking the borders of countries. You be in these shoes, and I’ll be in those―do you see dots when I’m talking to you? One lemon, two lemons, one rosy peach; six lonely souls and a moron. My mind is a porpoise alone on a beach, counting the waves as he’s dying.

Rheostatics, “You Are a Treasure” (1994)

Sadness

DENVER - AUGUST 27: U.S. Democratic Vice-Presidential nominee Sen. Joe Biden (D-DE) (L) hugs his son Delaware Attorney General Beau Biden, during day three of the Democratic National Convention (DNC) at the Pepsi Center August 27, 2008 in Denver, Colorado.  U.S. Sen. Barack Obama (D-IL) will be officially nominated as the Democratic candidate for U.S. president on the last day of the four-day convention.  (Photo by Mark Wilson, Getty Images)

Via Huffington Post:

Joseph “Beau” Biden III, the son of Vice President Joe Biden, has died from brain cancer, the White House announced Saturday evening. He was 46.

There really isn’t much to say; we can only offer our deepest condolences for the Biden family tonight.

I mean, I’m a father. I … no, I just can’t deal with imagining a day like today.

____________________

Image Note: Detail ― “DENVER – AUGUST 27: U.S. Democratic Vice-Presidential nominee Sen. Joe Biden (D-DE) (L) hugs his son Delaware Attorney General Beau Biden, during day three of the Democratic National Convention (DNC) at the Pepsi Center August 27, 2008 in Denver, Colorado. U.S. Sen. Barack Obama (D-IL) will be officially nominated as the Democratic candidate for U.S. president on the last day of the four-day convention.” (Photo by Mark Wilson, Getty Images)

Chen, Kelly. “Beau Biden, Joe Biden’s Son, Dead At 46 Of Brain Cancer”. The Huffington Post. 30 May 2015.