Two Years Late (Buggin’ Weiner Mix)

So … right. I happened across this detail that I set aside on a different hard drive, for some reason, a couple years ago, and never posted. Or something like that. Never blogged, at least.

I wonder what the hell I did with it?

But, yeah, anyway, I found it the other day while looking for a different picture that I apparently never did upload, though I couldn’t tell you why, nor even remember what image I was looking for. Never mind.

Don’t blame Adam; I’m sure it’s a fascinating story.

No, seriously, I couldn’t tell you.

Actually, why not take a stab with something about weiner and frosting.

Clickbait, sure, but it’s worth it.

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Image note: Detail of Bug Martini by Adam Huber, 25 August 2014.

Something to Click

How about if we just go with click it.

No, really. A little levity never killed anyone.

I mean … er … did it?

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Image note: Detail of Bug Martini by Adam Huber, 18 May 2015.

The Oral Argument

Okay, see if you can follow along, because, well, I’m writing it and it still seems a bit tough. So …

• … apparently someone named Alison Stevenson wrote an article for Vice explaining why she doesn’t perform oral sex on men―and apparently upset some people in the process, although not for detailing anything about her sex life but, rather, for not giving blowjobs―which, in turn …

• … moved Dan Savage to recall an occasion he upset some people for suggesting oral sex is a natural and seemingly inherent part of a sexual relationship, and then explains why he isn’t upset with Stevenson despite her apparent hypocrisy, and …

• … in a consideration seemingly unrelated yet also coincidentally appropriate, Christopher Frizzelle slogs philosophical about the nature of clickbait.

There was a point, I promise, sometime before I started typing, when this seemed like it made sense.

To the other, I freely admit that at no point did it actually seem important.

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Image note: Electric Kamon with Haruko, just before dinner. (Detail of frame from FLCL episode 4, “Full Swing”)

Stevenson, Alison. “Why I Don’t Give Blowjobs”. Vice. 23 March 2015.

Savage, Dan. “Alison Stevenson Won’t Suck Your Dick”. Slog. 24 March 2015.

Frizzelle, Christopher. “What Is ‘Clickbait’?” Slog. 23 March 2015.

A Typographical Error

You know, typos are what they are. We’ve all had a few, and occasionally they’re embarrassing. Ask Paarfi to offer his sentiments on two words.

Never mind.

At any rate, let us play a game. Can you spot the typo?

Following the Seahawks 24-14 win over the Eagles Sunday, Sherman sent his jersey to Eagles running back LeSean McCoy, Bleedinggreennation.com reports.

But rather than trash talk or an in-your-face attitude, Sherman sent the jersey and signature as a congratulatory sign of respect to McCoy, who broke the Eagles’ all-time single-season rushing record last year.

McCoy ran for 1,607 yards on 3013 carries in 2013, passing a record posted in 1979 by Eagles running back Wilbert Montgomery

The message on the back of the Sherman’s jersey read, “To Shady: Bro, congrats on the record! you have earned everything you have gotten. Have respect for you and your game.”

The thing is that it always takes that moment of silence between pulses in your chest before it clicks: Oh, just a typo. And every once in a while, the holy shit! moment is just astounding.

The article is credited to Q13 FOX News Staff, but that sort of only makes things worse. Just how many people either weren’t paying attention or have no idea how this sport works?

‘Tis true that we at This Is loathe local television news, but, frankly, this is a chuckle proving, on this occasion, that it was worth taking the Facebook clickbait.

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Q13 FOX News Staff. “Congrats, Bro! Richard Sherman sends surprising message to Eagles’ McCoy”. Q13FOX.com. 10 December 2014.

Your War on Drugs: Tennessee Anal Probes

Sure, it’s clickbait, we know. But it’s also a real issue. Radley Balko explains the thing about the Oak Ridge anal probes:

Last year we learned of three incidents in New Mexico in which motorists pulled over for moving violations were subjected to forced anal cavity searches, x-rays and even colonoscopies because police suspected they were hiding drugs in their bodies. I pointed out in January that the practice has also been used in Texas, Illinois, Florida and Kansas.

It looks like Oak Ridge, Tenn., has been doing it, too.

Right. Anyway, Balko continues:

This is actually the second time a forcible anal probe has been challenged in a Tennessee courtroom. In 2011, the same doctor and the same police department performed a similar procedure on a man, also after a traffic stop.

Part of the Problem

To the one, it is very easy to pick on the Huffington Post; to the other, well, yeah, never mind. The question is what the historians and anthropologists will write about this period of human communication. Naturally, we jest; the real question is whether or not the journal article can be published in under sixty characters.

What? Really? Show of hands: Who thinks Twitter will last that long?

Alright, then. Follow-up: How long before 140 is too long?

Uh-huh. See how that works?

Still, the great testament of Huffington Post and other online news sites will be the consumerist outlook; news and information, once considered vital to civic function, are now merely mass-produced trinkets, the inconvenient content one must necessarily tease consumers with in order to facilitate the commercial transactions that are a news organization’s real reasons for existing.

True, it sounds grim. But look at what people are reading.