This is the quandary: We could accept the narrative explanation. But it is much more fun if we don’t.
All the usual disclaimers go here, including the bit about how it all goes downhill from there.
Actually, I think doomed from the outset is the better phrase.
What? It’s a Bug with nipples. And nipple rings. Where can you possibly go from there, save straight into the chasm?
Huber, Adam. “Ring Around the Dopey”. Bug Martini. 20 May 2015.