To: Facebook casual gaming advertisers
re: Why would I want to?
There are, certainly, a few things I might say about this or that. “Won a big win”? This must be what we call the dynamic evolution of language. I’ve been learning a lot about this aspect of human communication over the last few years, from friends on the internet. And it turns out I’m some sort of old, pedantic fuddy-duddy, beacuse I have yet to understand that the language must evolve, and that means it must diminish its communicative utility. Sentence structure, proper spelling, and even basic literacy are just too oppressive for free, intelligent humanity.
Never mind. Inside joke. Filler material.
Look, the bottom line is that these constant adverts telling me that my friends are playing and winning your games actually discourage my participation.
And, seriously, if I want to gamble, I’ll go to a casino. If I want to play slots, I’ll consider assisted suicide instead.
But no, you’re not actually contributing to the species. Indeed, your endeavors are to its detriment.