Academy Awards

The Reason Why

Detail of BuzzFeed "More News" sidebar, 23 February 2015, 07:28 PST.Only twenty-seven?

Your number of the day. We did not bother reading the article. No, really, if there are twenty-seven “important moments” from the Oscars, well, where does that fall in the range? Is it a mean? That would make 2,349 important moments from eighty-seven Academy Awards ceremonies, but that projection is probably unfair since our age of mass media means we can increase the number of important things per second.

Still, though, where are we going to fit in all those important things? Arts education is already woeful in these United States, and nobody really seems to like history despite it being both one of the easier courses on the curriculum and also one of the most important a person can learn. Maybe if we cram it into a business education sequence.

Because that, more than whatever twenty-seven things, is the important lesson to learn: Growing the brand. It is why we teach kids math, not so they can grow up to take pretty pictures of the sky. Pretty pictures are pretty and all, but they don’t put food on the table.

And don’t give us any of that excremental hippie line about math and science saving lives. You can’t save lives if you don’t grow the brand.

Priorities, people.

That’s why twenty-seven.

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Image note: Detail of BuzzFeed “More News” sidebar, 23 February 2015, 07:28 PST.

Required Reading

And the award for Best Supporting Moron In An International Tragedy goes to … Immigration and Customs Enforcement:

5 Broken CamerasI quickly texted him back and told him that help was on the way. He wrote back to say Immigration and Customs was holding him, his wife, Soraya, and their 8-year old son (and “star” of the movie) Gibreel in a detention room at LAX. He said they would not believe him when he told them he was an Oscar-nominated director on his way to this Sunday’s Oscars and to the events in LA leading up to the ceremony. He is also a Palestinian. And an olive farmer. Apparently that was too much for Homeland Security to wrap its head around.

And, you know, when Michael Moore shows up to help resolve the situation, the folks at ICE must know, deep in their hearts, that they just picked the wrong Oscar-nominated Palestinian documentary filmmaker to screw with.