The lede is pretty much sickening:
Three-time NFL Pro Bowler and Super Bowl winner Dana Stubblefield is facing charges that he raped a disabled woman.
And such as these tales go, the report only gets worse. This is not the fault of Brook Hays of UPI; rather, it’s just how these stories go.
It is, of course, a tragically stupid tale:
Little League Baseball has stripped the U.S. championship from Chicago-based Jackie Robinson West and suspended its coach for violating a rule prohibiting the use of players who live outside the geographic area that the team represents, it was announced Wednesday.
Jackie Robinson West must vacate wins from the 2014 Little League Baseball International Tournament — including its Great Lakes Regional and United States championships.
The team’s manager, Darold Butler, has been suspended from Little League activity, and Illinois District 4 administrator Michael Kelly has been removed from his position.
The organization found that Jackie Robinson West used a falsified boundary map and that team officials met with neighboring Little League districts in Illinois to claim players and build what amounts to a superteam.
As a result, the United States championship has been awarded to Mountain Ridge Little League from Las Vegas.
“Quite honestly, we had to do this,” Little League International president and CEO Stephen D. Keener told ESPN on Wednesday. “We had no choice. We had to maintain the integrity of the Little League program. … As painful as this is, it’s a necessary outcome from what we finally have been able to confirm.
“The real troubling part of this is that we feel horribly for the kids who are involved with this. Certainly, no one should cast any blame, any aspersions on the children who participated on this team. To the best of our knowledge, they had no knowledge that they were doing anything wrong. They were just kids out playing baseball, which is the way it should be. They were celebrated for that by many, many organizations, many people. What we’re most concerned about today is that it’s going to be hard on these kids. And that’s the part that breaks your heart.”
(ESPN)
People are, as you might imagine, furious. And they should be. Yet what is it about our society that so many people waste so much energy being furious about the wrong thing?
You know, typos are what they are. We’ve all had a few, and occasionally they’re embarrassing. Ask Paarfi to offer his sentiments on two words.
Never mind.
At any rate, let us play a game. Can you spot the typo?
Following the Seahawks 24-14 win over the Eagles Sunday, Sherman sent his jersey to Eagles running back LeSean McCoy, Bleedinggreennation.com reports.
But rather than trash talk or an in-your-face attitude, Sherman sent the jersey and signature as a congratulatory sign of respect to McCoy, who broke the Eagles’ all-time single-season rushing record last year.
McCoy ran for 1,607 yards on 3013 carries in 2013, passing a record posted in 1979 by Eagles running back Wilbert Montgomery
The message on the back of the Sherman’s jersey read, “To Shady: Bro, congrats on the record! you have earned everything you have gotten. Have respect for you and your game.”
The thing is that it always takes that moment of silence between pulses in your chest before it clicks: Oh, just a typo. And every once in a while, the holy shit! moment is just astounding.
The article is credited to Q13 FOX News Staff, but that sort of only makes things worse. Just how many people either weren’t paying attention or have no idea how this sport works?
‘Tis true that we at This Is loathe local television news, but, frankly, this is a chuckle proving, on this occasion, that it was worth taking the Facebook clickbait.
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Q13 FOX News Staff. “Congrats, Bro! Richard Sherman sends surprising message to Eagles’ McCoy”. Q13FOX.com. 10 December 2014.
Perhaps ouch! is sufficient.
That is to say, it was certainly an enjoyable game, at least from a Pacific Northwestern perspective, but it would seem something more is taking place.
Tim Kawakami of the San Jose Mercury-News brings the commentary:
The 49ers don’t just have a Seattle problem any more, now they have an Everything Problem.
But it starts with Seattle. Oh my, it all begins with Richard Sherman, Russell Wilson and Pete Carroll and every part of the 49ers’ ongoing — and expanding — Seahawks Nightmare.
Might end with Seattle, too.
The Seahawks have beaten the 49ers before, but on Thursday at Levi’s Stadium before a national TV audience, Seattle shook the 49ers to their very core.
Yeah. It’s gloomy.
In honor of our American Feast of the Genocide, how about some thematically-related cartoons?
• 
Adam Huber leads off, giving thanks to the internet that he might post tomorrow’s cartoon today, that in turn he might spend tomorrow either hung over or tryptocomatose.
• Lalo Alcaraz, like many others, reflects on the true meaning of Thanksgiving.
• Speaking of true meanings, Adam Huber took a shot at it earlier this week.
• Or maybe Brian McFadden puts forward a more appropriate reflection on the true meaning of “Thanksgiving Day”.
―No, really. Steve Benen offered a vignette earlier this week explaining one of the great political controversies surrounding the idea of “Thanksgiving Day” that is worth the two minutes it takes the average literate American to read. It is also where we got the photo of FDR on Easter. Go figure; go fish.
• 
Jen Sorensen attempts to summarize the crazy, tinfoil relative who reminds us why we need to keep the fact of attempted genocide in mind as a fundamental component of our Thanksgiving Day rituals.
• Reuben Bolling offers a glimpse at Genocide Day Thanksgiving Day in Chagrin Falls.
• #TBT the time Adam Huber won the Genocide Day Cartoon Parade by starting in April.
―In re the above, to the one we promise that is the last of the Huber cartoons for today. Prolific about genocide? Genocide-prolific? Can we just go with genolific? At any rate, our apologies for this post in general; we’ve known it was coming for months, having filed this cartoon away for this year’s celebration.
• We might note that Matt Tarpley managed an actual feelgood cartoon in honor of “Thanksgiving Day”. It is also worth pointing out that apparently Death closes his eyes when swinging. And yet, Death bats a thousand.
• Not to disparage the fine artists above, but Zach Weiner deserves some sort of award for skipping the holiday edition altogether. Thus, a cartoon from earlier this week that reminds us to give thanks for consumerism, undereducation, and paranoia, which really are the thematic components of what we Americans make of this day.
And while the wannabe patriots and pragmatists might moan about how people just won’t forget history and celebrate the glorious triumph of all that came after the attempted genocide, it is equally appropriate to remind them to go screw and give thanks that nobody is trading them death blankets as an act of biological warfare disguised in alleged commerce.
Otherwise, give thanks like you would for any other day, that we are still here and get to experience it, and perhaps take a moment to wonder why we put ourselves through this ritual that nobody seems to like, since we’re always muttering about the Turkey Pardon, the banality of parades, fretting over how to get the best Black Friday deals (Hint: Do your shopping last Monday, at least until next year when the new statistics show us which day actually has the best prices), or complaining that anyone would spend this miserable day of family gatherings—over tasteless ritual food and football games that more often than not have nothing to do with your favorite team—getting drunk.
But make sure to raise a wrist for genocide.
Oh, those poor Washington Piggy-Piggy-Pigskinners.
The National Football League’s Washington Redskins can sue a group of American Indians for seeking to block trademark protection for its name, which has been criticized as offensive.
U.S. District Judge Gerald Bruce Lee in Alexandria, Virginia, today denied a request to dismiss the case. Throwing out the complaint would deprive the team of the opportunity to review the Trademark Trial and Appeal Board’s decision to cancel the mark as disparaging, Lee said in a written opinion.
“Defendants show no reason why their interest would cease to exist considering reversal of the TTAB’s cancellation of the Redskins marks would subject defendants to the very harm they sought to eliminate by filing the petition,” Lee wrote.
The ruling is the latest in a 22-year dispute over a brand worth an estimated $145 million, according to Forbes. The board’s decision to cancel six trademarks, if left intact by the court, would make it harder for the team to enforce rights to its name and protect revenue associated with it. The franchise ranked third in the NFL in August, with a valuation of $1.7 billion, according to Forbes.
(Pearson)
Just so we’re clear: You can call the team name an “honor” to the indigenous tribes right about the same time we have a team called the Pale Riders that features mass rape and murder as part of his halftime genocide show. You know, to honor white people.
Meanwhile, yes, this is the way it goes. Assholes need to be able to sue the people who call them out as assholes, or else Justice herself goes to Hell as a handmaiden in a handbasket.
Poor Piggy-Piggy-Pigskinners.
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Pearson, Sophia. “Redskins Can Sue American Indians Over Team’s Trademark”. Bloomberg. 25 November 2014.
Britney Spears in Las Vegas, Newt Gingrich on his third wife, Ray and Janay, O.J. and Nicole, the list goes on ad nauseam. It’s a point that keeps coming up, and once again we find ourselves choking on the laughter that seems our only decent retort: The sanctity of marriage? Uh-huh. Right. Whatever you say.
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Beeler, Nate. “Holy Matrimony”. The Columbus Dispatch. 20 November 2014.
We do not, it is true, give Facebook much for appreciation. Most days, the reason for this is perfectly obvious to, well, pretty much anyone.α At the same time, though, given the numbers, it is a statistical inevitability that the Big Blue F will eventually provide some reward of utility, such as, well, two seconds’ worth of chuckle that might compel one to wonder why anyone would bother with the small handful of minutes required to blog it.
Well, you know, to the one there is the news about video games. But that’s the sort of news one can pass by word of mouth. The real gem is the NFL news:
Rick Reilly: New York Giants punter Steve Weatherford bench-presses, drops 190-pound ESPN writer
That is to say, come on, that is … er … um … perfect.
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α To the other, we should probably clarify that we are, in fact, referring to a mere subset of Facebook users; the joke would pretend the rest either don’t exist or, simply, are instruments of that giant Zucking sound swallowing loads of data over the course of any given millisecond. In this case we refer to Facebook users who only ever took up the website at all because, for some strange reason, there came a day when all their friends suddenly disappeared, and when phone, SMS, email, and even driving over to their place to see if they’re okay all failed, well, it turned out that they were all on Facebook, and that became the most reliable way to find them. Of course, communication is a two-way street; one might contact, say, the former partner about routine matters of child rearing and actually expect a reply. And if we are not thankful for the bountiful replies featuring cats being cute by disgracing their own names, one can only wonder who the f@ck ever thought we should be.
As long as we’re wrecking your day, let us tack on the latest regarding the National Football League. Simone Sebastian and Ines Bebea bring the bad news:
It’s counterintuitive to the outside world: Women should leave their abusers, and their abusers should be punished. But the NFL is a unique universe with an overwhelmingly male workforce whose members are lionized in the press and in their communities; a we’re-all-in-this-together ethos; and incentives for the managers, coaches, and union reps to keep negative stories under wraps. Going to authorities, whether police or hospitals, means social exclusion and, more importantly, negative media attention that could end your husband’s career. Justice imperils their belonging and their livelihood.
The wives, whose husbands ended their playing careers in the 2000s, say they knew of no safe alternative — no liaison to players’ families, no counselor, and no procedure for reporting abuse. In fact, the league rarely communicates with wives at all, on issues serious or benign, even though a great number of them don’t work and are dependent on their husbands, they say. The NFL did not answer several requests for comment about league culture or how officials interact with players’ wives. Teri Patterson, deputy managing director and special counsel to the NFL Players Association, says her organization beefed up its communication with wives after she arrived in 2009. The NFLPA now holds meetings for players and their wives in 10 cities each year, plus up to five others at special events like the Super Bowl. (There are 32 teams in the league, meaning only one-third of them have access to the sessions each year.)
According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, just one-quarter of the 1.3 million American women assaulted by an intimate partner each year report the attacks to the police. But the two wives interviewed for this article claimed the rate of reporting among NFL wives and girlfriends is much lower. They say the league has built a tight-knit culture, similar to a fraternity, with entrenched hierarchies and a fierce sense of loyalty among members. “You get brainwashed. It’s so ingrained that you protect the player, you just stay quiet. You learn your role is to be the supportive NFL wife,” says one of them, the onetime wife of a Saints player who asked to speak anonymously because her now ex-husband is still associated with the league. Otherwise, she says, “You’d cost him his job.”
Once upon a time, a childhood spent awash in football culture offered treasured memories. But we are living in a time when people are looking past the glories and wondering at the cost. And, yes, this chauvinistic, insane victimization looms over the sport today. True, that stings, but we’re also really, really late to this particular contest. One wonders how many wife-beaters have the stones to to take a swing at their best male friend for similar annoyance. And most of us know from observation the answer is not many. What we might observe from casual cultural references to domestic and intimate violence is pretty straightforward: You don’t treat people that way. Just women.
Or is this just the wrong time for sarcasm?
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Seastian, Simone and Ines Bebea. “For battered NFL wives, a message from the cops and the league: Keep quiet”. The Washington Post. 17 October 2014.
Reading material:
You’re welcome.
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