Not Really Worth Your Time

[#nevermind]

Two and a half not-quite random notes on blogging:

(1) While This Is has seen, in recent months, an apparent increase in readership, it is, as near as anyone can tell, all bots and spiders and whatever else. The pattern is clear, though: When posting daily, it is true the blog sees greater readership than, say, this time last year. Longer periods between posts can trigger a swell in readership; it really does appear some manner of Scooby-Snack behavioral econ, trying to get attention so someone will be encouraged to use the product more.

(2) While this would seem to point back to WordPress and Automattic, neither can I explain the weird phenomenon about “Top Searches”. Then again, this has been going on longer than the increased reader statistics that never really do add up. Still, the constant inquiries about journalists are ridiculous.  

The Moralist, the Moralizing, and the Moral of the Story

There is no moral to the story; it is convenient word play in an age of professional moralists and societal resentment toward morals of stories.

A personal moment: Something strange occurred by which a blog accustomed to calling thirty hits an outstanding day pulled about sixty for two in a row. The phenomenon on this occasion is one of a scant few posts written directly about the infamous former FOX News personality Bill O’Reilly, on an occasion he appeared to throw his own mother under the bus.

One of those weird curses of privilege: Since people are reading it, do I deliberately write a follow-up? Great, who wants to read that much of me crowing about the demise of Bill O’Reilly’s tenure at FOX News? And can I really muster the will to wallow in such sordid tales when it means putting Bill O’Reilly’s face on a protracted discussion of sexual harassment and belligerence? And how much should I really complain about the world when this is the question I’m nibbling through lunch time?

Maybe it’s these conundra, even more than the low ethics, that we come to disdain about conservatives. I can still remember a Doonesbury episode from the Time of the Blue Dress, and the idea that Mike was relieved that his twelve year-old daughter already understood enough about fellatio that he need not explain that aspect of the headlines. The idea of putting Bill O’Reilly‘s face on any discussion of sexual harassment almost feels like harassing belligerence of its own.

To the other, it is not so much a question of passing on opportunity; rather, well, damn it, the smartest thing to do would be to stop now.

Almost Paranoia (Horseshoe Destroy’a)

#DimensionTrump | #WhatTheyVotedFor

“You cannot make this up,” writes columnist and podcaster C.J. Werleman, and he would seem to have a point. The text of a recent fundraising missive from Team Trump:

Jose,

The President emailed you to take the urgent Mainstream Media Accountability Survey.

Since then, mainstream media outlets have viciously attacked it … and thousands of Democrats have taken it to try to sabotage the results.

Which is why we need your IMMEDIATE Help as one of President Trump’s Biggest Supporters.

Please take the Mainstream Media Accountability Survey now. >>

Thanks,

Team TRUMP

A Bugworm

So, I’ve got this dumb thing going on in my head, a filked auto dealer slogan echoing over and over and over again: “Bug Martini! Bug Martini! Bug Martini! (dng! dng!)”

It’s hard to explain that last sound; I think it’s supposed to be some sort of xylophone or marimba or something. No, really, damn thing has haunted me most of my life; it’s an earworm from Hell.

Still, though, that has exactly nothing to do with Adam.

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Image note: Detail of Bug Martini by Adam Huber, 2 November 2016.

The Donald Trump Show (Ryan Rescue Remix)

Amid the astounding spectacle that really is the Donald Trump Show, there does arise the occasional substantive issue. And while the averages describe the Republican nominee’s spectacle in abysmal terms, the substantive questions that do arise just don’t seem to help. To wit, Steve Benen reflects on the fine print:

To the Trump campaign’s credit, the commercial includes footnotes of sorts for many of its core claims. For example, at the 15-second mark, when the narrator says “working families get tax relief” in Trump’s America, there’s small text at the bottom that reads, “A Pro-Growth Tax Code For All Americans, GOP: A Better Way, 6/24/16.”

Why does that matter? Because “A Pro-Growth Tax Code For All Americans, GOP: A Better Way, 6/24/16” is House Speaker Paul Ryan’s (R-Wis.) tax plan, not Donald Trump’s. They’re actually pretty different, and include their own marginal rates, which makes it odd for Trump to cite the House GOP’s plan as if it were his own.

A couple of seconds later, the same ad includes fine print that reads, “‘Details and analysis of the 2016 House Republican Tax Reform Plan,’ Tax Foundation, 7/15/16.” And while I’d take issue with the center-right Tax Foundation’s analysis of Ryan’s plan, the point is, again, that Trump has a different plan.

At the 19-second mark, note that the fine print reads, “‘Details and analysis of Donald Trump’s Tax Plan, Tax Foundation, 9/29/15.” And while that’s certainly closer to being applicable, what the ad doesn’t mention is that Trump has since abandoned that tax plan, unveiling a new blueprint three weeks ago.

True (McDignity Mix)

Yes, there really is such a thing as “McTeacher Night”; I’ve seen one, before. And, yes, the fast food joint invites the students from a local school to come over and order food from their teachers.

To the one, there is an old slogan about the day the schools have the money they need and the Air Force needs to hold a bake sale to buy a bomber. It’s been around for a while; posters, bumper stickers, t-shirts―the whole nine yards. One wonders at the potential hullabaloo if we sent some military recruiters to do the same.

To the other, if you have ever witnessed one of these events, it might seem plainly evident why so many people back teachers in contract disputes. This really is asking too much of schoolteachers, yet they will put on their shining classroom smiles and face their students in good faith and the best possible spirit.

When it comes time to remind children to do whatever it takes to get the job done, perhaps we don’t often enough point to their teachers as examples because we are ashamed of what communities demand.

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Image note: Detail of cartoon by Jen Sorensen, via Daily Kos, 19 May 2016.

The Abiding Question of How Anyone Could Ever Possibly Come to Think Something Was Not a Terrible Idea

Of course they did.

A holiday advertisement by Bloomingdale’s that encourages drink spiking was trending heavily on social media on Thursday with some critics saying the image promotes date rape.

The ad, which was released in Bloomingdale’s 2015 holiday catalog and was meant to advertise Rebecca Minkoff merchandise, features a woman looking away and laughing as a young man looks at her suggestively. The text reads: “Spike your best friend’s eggnog when they’re not looking.”

The luxury department store owned by Macy’s Inc apologized for the ‘inappropriate’ eggnog advertisement on Tuesday.

“In reflection of recent feedback, the copy we used in our recent catalog was inappropriate and in poor taste,” a spokesperson said in a statement. “Bloomingdale’s sincerely apologizes for this error in judgment.”

Bloomingdale’s also apologized on its official Twitter account (@Bloomingdales) on Tuesday: “We heard your feedback about our catalog copy, which was inappropriate and in poor taste. Bloomingdale’s sincerely apologizes.”

(Fares)

Okay, so … it looks like we need to have this talk again.

Still, though: Really?

I mean, come on. Really?

Okay, okay, okay. Try this one: How?

Can you please at least try to explain that?

____________________

Fares, Melissa. “Bloomingdale’s ‘spiked eggnog’ ad sparks outrage on social media”. Reuters. 12 November 2015.

A Brief Note About Nothing (Ask My Doctor Edition)

In a way, I’m surprised I haven’t noticed before; to the other, maybe it’s because this one is so blatant. An advert for a respiratory drug running in the background, a silly, touching narrative of a grandfather having to explain the problem to his granddaughter during story time, because he’s just like the big bad wolf, huffing and puffing. All of which leads to the setup, and the first joke to mind really is straightforward: So I asked my doctor, and she read me a script written by a pharmaceutical company that wants me to take their drug.

Can of corn, right? Don’t need to hack up a lung chasing that one down.

But right on its heels another thought struck, as the doctor played on TV read the standard plea: So I asked my doctor, and she told me to ask my doctor.

Maybe it’s time to rework the script template.

Just sayin’.

The Donald Trump Show (Trump Dump)

Welcome to the Donald Trump Show. We expect this will be, proverbially speaking, at least, interesting, and would encourage at all times to bear in mind that this is, after all, Donald Trump we’re talking about.

To wit, NBC has severed ties with Trump; Cynthia Littleton of Variety explains:

NBC is ending its long relationship with Donald Trump in the wake of the presidential hopeful’s recent comments about Mexican immigrants.

NBC said it will no longer carry the Trump-produced Miss USA and Miss Universe pageants. Nor will he return to the long-running reality show “The Celebrity Apprentice” as host, a role Trump already said he would give up because of his presidential bid.

“Due to the recent derogatory statements by Donald Trump regarding immigrants, NBCUniversal is ending its business relationship with Mr. Trump,” NBC said in a statement. “At NBC, respect and dignity for all people are cornerstones of our values.”

Trump told CNN that he was considering filing suit against NBC. He said in a statement that “NBC is weak, and like everybody else is trying to be politically correct” before saying that NBC will support disgraced journalist Brian Williams “but won’t stand behind people that tell it like it is, as unpleasant as that may be.”

“We must have strong borders and not let illegal immigrants enter the United States,” Trump said. “As has been stated continuously in the press, people are pouring across our borders unabated. Public reports routinely state great amounts of crime are being committed by illegal immigrants. This must be stopped and it must be stopped now. Long ago I told NBC that I would not being doing ‘The Apprentice’ because I am running for president in order to make our country great again.”

So, here’s the thing: This might be a calculated gamble.

Your Morning Metal (Modern Day Cowboy)

There did come a point at which it seems laughable to call it metal, yet we did. Still, we all had our favorites.

Stormy night, under jet black skies. Billy pulls into town. Thunder rolled and the lightnin’ bolts come crashin’ to the ground. Cold as ice, hard as stone as he walks into the room with another man who was feelin’ the same way; all Hell’s breakin’ loose. Bang, bang! Shoot ’em up! Bang, bang! Blow you away! It’s a showdown in a no man’s land for the cowboy of the modern day. Come on, sundown, don’t be hangin’ ’round, ’cause the cowboy will blow you away, yeah. Al Capone and Bad Boy Jones, one the wrong side of the law. Johnny Dee and his company, always first to the draw. Gangster lean, feelin’ so mean. Tryin’ to take more than their share, ’cause all they saw was ruling it all. The scent of blood was in the air. Bang, bang! Shoot ’em up! Bang, bang! Blow you away! It’s a showdown in a no man’s land for the cowboy of the modern day. Come on, sundown, don’t be hangin’ ’round, ’cause the cowboy will blow you away, yeah. So here we are, and we’ve come this far, but it’s only getting worse. Foreign lands with their terrorist demands, only cause the good to hurt. The USA, the USSR, with their six-guns to their side. I see the message written on the wall. Too much anger, deep inside. Bang, Bang! I’ll shoot ’em up. Bang, bang! Blow you away! It’s a showdown in a no man’s land for the cowboy of the modern day. Come on, sundown, don’t be hangin’ ’round, ’cause the cowboy will blow you away, yeah.

―Tesla, “Modern Day Cowboy” (1986)

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