The Ted Cruz Show (Michelangelo Fist)

Republican presidential candidate Sen. Ted Cruz (R-TX), speaks at a rally Sunday, 21 February 2016, in Pahrump, Nevada. (AP Photo/John Locher)

It is, as we have recently observed, easy enough to pick on David Brooks but then along comes Charles Hurt to remind why meandering desperation in lieu of useful analysis is still a better option than attending a hardline conservative posturing as some manner of serious mind. While the New York Times endures Brooks, Mr. Hurt’s résumé is a proper slime trail leading from the New York Post on through Breitbart, Newsmax, FOX News, and the Washington Times; just to make the point he picked up a gig with Drudge. For The Hill, however, Hurt attempts to explain “The problem with Ted Cruz”. It’s a doozy:

While the media attention has focused entirely on the exuberant and entertaining traveling carnival nature of the Trump campaign, this overlooks another, deeper problem conservatives have today: Sen. Ted Cruz (Texas).

Washington Times columnist Charles Hurt appears on FOX News in December, 2015.In the past eight years, no one has captivated the realistic hopes of conservative constitutionalists the way that Cruz has in this election. On every single issue of importance to conservatives, Cruz is right. He is a walking, living, breathing Supreme Court dissent, masterfully articulated and extensively annotated on paper.

Then, he opens his mouth. And people scream. They run for the exits as if their hair is on fire. They want to take a shower.

We might fixate on the phrase, “captivated realistic hopes”, all day, and never figure out what the hell the author intends. The nearest thing to a realistic hope we might project for these “constitutional conservatives” is to somehow elect Ted Cruz, watch him get crushed by Congress and Court alike, and spend the next twenty years like they have the last, complaining about evil gov’ment and the usurpation of democracy just like they’ve been mewling at least since Romer v. Evans.

Still, though, Charles Hurt is a conservative; it is unfair to expect that he should make sense according to reality.

Still, he is a conservative, and as such tries to make something positive out of it by tacking on even more spite, including three paragraphs about how “Crooked” Hillary Clinton’s “cackles are like claws on a chalkboard”, but concludes that the “revolting visceral antipathy” she inspires “is nothing compared to people’s reaction to Cruz”.

Then come seven paragraphs about God, which are nearly as bizarre as anything David Brooks might put out.

No, really, I’m not joking.

“I will get that Donald Trump. Finally!” God grumbles, clinching his giant Michelangelo fist.

“Two Corinthians,” He scoffs under his divine breath. “‘The Art of the Deal’ is not even a close second!”

Then again, it’s easy enough to say this is what conservatives are reduced to, but it’s been a while since they had anything better.

____________________

Image notes: Top ― Republican presidential candidate Sen. Ted Cruz (R-TX), speaks at a rally Sunday, 21 February 2016, in Pahrump, Nevada. (AP Photo/John Locher) RightWashington Times columnist Charles Hurt appears on FOX News in December, 2015.

Hurt, Charles. “The problem with Ted Cruz”. The Hill. 29 April 2016.

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