A Benchmark … Maybe?

Given the unpredictability of politics, such suggestions might seem somewhat naïve; yet one might legitimately wonder if, on the Republican side of things, you know some abstract limit has been violated when Jennifer Rubin comes out swinging:

As I’ve written previously, the far right’s reaction to Sen. Thad Cochran’s defeat of their pet tea party candidate Chris McDaniel in the Republican primary for U.S. senator from Mississippi has been unhinged and at times downright racist. Even the less hysterical voices are up in arms that Cochran’s tactics were unseemly or that the “establishment” betrayed them again.

Among the “sins” Cochran is accused of is finding African American leaders to help turn out the African American vote. (The nerve!) Unearthing egregiously offensive comments McDaniel made on his radio show (no!) and skewering McDaniel for campaign gaffes on everything from Katrina relief to support for the inane shutdown (mercy me!). The attitude that the “establishment” doesn’t have to crush the poor tea party folk every time, suggests, I guess, that there needs to be a mercy rule of the inept tea party (if they lose 10 races they get a freebie?).

I mean, really. Damn.

Your Republican Party (Crankin’ Out the Votes Edition)

At first it sounds like a joke.

Jordan D. Haskins, candidate for Michigan Legislature, wants everyone to know conservatives embrace imperfect people, too. So let him explain his multiple felony convictions for breaking into government vehicles, disconnecting the sparkplugs, and jerking off while the engines cranked.

—Weinstein

But it’s not:

Haskins’ break-ins were often tied to an arguably bizarre sexual fetish called “cranking.” When he broke into vehicles, Haskins would disconnect the ignition wires and re-start the engine while masturbating, police reports show. In an unrelated report by The Independent, Susan Block, Ph.D., a featured sexologist on HBO’s “Real Sex” and “Cathouse” explained the fetish by saying, “[t]he ‘vroom’ of the engine reminds [men] of their own libidos being revved up by this hot woman.”

Haskins says he hopes voters can see he’s evolved. “Those are things that haunt me to this day,” Haskins told MLive. “I’m just trying to move on from that and do what I can.”

—Thomas

Ladies and gentlemen, your Republican Party.

It should also be noted that if we take Mr. Haskins at his word, he cured his paraphilia by finding a new passion, conservative politics.

Yes, really. Write your own damn punch line.

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Weinstein, Adam. “GOP Hopeful: My Public Masturbation Fetish and Felonies Were Bad Ideas”. Gawker. 27 June 2014.

Thomas, Emily. “GOP Candidate Jordan Haskins Wants Voters To Forgive His Criminal And Sexual Fetish Past”. The Huffington Post. 27 June 2014.