Month: January 2014

Bracketology?

Seattle TimesBud Withers, of the Seattle Times:

Bracketologist Joe Lunardi’s latest post on ESPN.com is headlined: “Oregon no lock for NCAA tourney.” You’d figure the Ducks would snap out of a a five-game tailspin Sunday at Washington State, but even at that, Oregon will need to play some defense and find some inside game in the second half of the Pac-12 season to make it.

Bracketology?

Right, then.

Something About … Wait a Minute, What?

Right.Yes, really ....

Okay, so does anybody remember in the early nineties, FOX ran a sketch comedy show called The Edge? It wasn’t around long, but all sketch comedy ventures have at least one good bit, and for The Edge it was “The Judds” singing about douches in a fake television spot. You remember, the awkward conversations? “Mama, do you ever have those days …”?

You’re welcome.

But the sketch continues and the mom and daughter team go on to sing about douching. Even water spraying from the microphones. It ends with the usual masculine voiceover: “Now in Summer Breeze, Forest Pine, and new Smokey Oakey Barbecue!”

The number of people who continue to use douche and douchebag as an insult this many years after Booger Dawson help keep that memory reasonably fresh.

Ha!

Er, yeah. Anyway. Right.

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Via Huffington Post.

Image detail via Multi Cult Classics.

Grim Huber Humor

Hint: Dungeons are passé. Especially when you’re caught up in the middle of a generally derogatory situation that has critics suggesting your culture is centuries behind reality. Gul Yousfzai explains, for Reuters:

Adam Huber, Bug Martini, January 8, 2014A Pakistani legislator has been arrested for running a private dungeon at his home in which five people were found chained up, two of them for several years, police said on Monday.

The dungeon only came to light after private guards working for the lawmaker, Abdul Rehman Khetran, attacked police at a checkpoint on Sunday, beat them up and stole their weapons.

The police then raided the lawmaker’s fortified home in lawless Baluchistan province, freed the prisoners, including one woman, and arrested Khetran, his son and six private guards, said Barkhan district police chief Abdul Ghafoor Marri.

The prisoners had been mistreated, Marri said, adding that police had also seized a truck filled with ammunition and weapons at the premises.

That’s never good. And it probably doesn’t help that the answer from Khetran is not that he had no idea his security team was doing this, but that the raid and arrests are political persecution. To the one, that’s what happens when your people hit the police. To the other, it’s Baluchistan, where it might be reasonable to wonder if it really was Khetran’s people who attacked the checkpoint.

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Gandalf in a Diaper

Adam Huber, 2014

Further comment would only ruin the fun.

No, really, you have to love the posts where you write paragraphs in order to justify a nifty—e.g., stupid—tryptich made from somebody else’s work. In this case: Huber, Bug Martini, Gandalf in a diaper.

Nerdlings everywhere howl in outrage; their cries echo across Middle Earth forever.

Get used to it, nerdlings.

I mean, come on. It’s Gandalf in a diaper. In bug form.

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Huber, Adam. “Gandalf the Whiner”. Bug Martini. January 14, 2014. BugMartini.com. January 15, 2014.

Something About … er … um … Oh, Come On ….

“Somebody throws popcorn. I’m not sure who threw the popcorn. And then bang, he was shot.”

Charles Cummings

We all knew it was coming … eventually. After all, it’s one of those thoughts we have about other people, but, you know, most of us understand the difference between … er … ah … right.

According to multiple reports, the shooting occurred after an apparent argument over an audience member texting during a screening of “Lone Survivor.”

The suspect was identified as Curtis Reeves, a retired Tampa police officer, according to News 13. He has been charged with second-degree murder.

The Orlando TV station website identified the victims as Chad and Nicole Oulson, a married couple.

AP/HuffPo

It’s all well and fun until someone loses … oh. Again, right. Just, you know. Still, though, I mean, come on.

And, you know, some things just shouldn’t have to be said. Or, as witness Charles Cummings reflected:

“I can’t believe people would bring a pistol, a gun, to a movie. I can’t believe they would argue and fight and shoot one another over popcorn. Over a cellphone.”

Apparently, people need reminding. Please, before someone actually does strangle the crying baby on the airplane with a seat belt. This is already out of hand.

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Associated Press and Huffington Post. “Shooting Over Movie Theater Texting Leaves 1 Dead, 1 Injured”. Updated January 13, 2014. HuffingtonPost.com. January 14, 2014.

Coonrippy

It is one of those things—where do we even start?Mark 'Coonrippy' Brown, with his shower buddy Rebekah

How about with the word Coonrippy, a nickname for a gun dealer named Mark Brown. Mr. Brown loves raccoons; he even had a pet raccoon named Gunshow. But what makes Mark “Coonrippy” Brown significant is that he is running for governor in Tennessee because, well, her name is Rebekah:

A Gallatin man who made national headlines when state wildlife officials confiscated his pet raccoon last year has announced he is running for governor.

Mark “Coonrippy” Brown, 55, pulled a petition for the office on Friday with intentions to challenge incumbent Gov. Bill Haslam in the Republican primary in August.

“This is all about the raccoon,” Brown said.

(Lee)

Right.

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